Surrender My Child?! How Could God Ask That of Me?

I have never lost a child.  For that I am extremely grateful.  But I know that some of you have.

I can only imagine the anguish of having to say a final goodbye in this life to one’s own child.

The only thing, I believe, that could give any comfort would be if I knew that my child would be going to be with Jesus.  And that we would be together again someday in Heaven.

But it still goes against everything in us to let go of our baby.

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Even with all the practice we may have had from the time they begin to crawl away from us as infants to the time they begin to drive, letting go never gets easier.  They graduate high school and go away to college.  Then they get married.  And that empty nest looms really empty.

I’m not looking forward to that next step of letting go that I’ll be facing before long.  I like my nest just fine the way it is.  Thank you!

It is so hard to let go.

Our babies are a part of us…our bodies and our hearts.

I remember one night after church when my oldest daughter was about 16 months old.  I got to talking to a friend when all of a sudden sheer panic ripped through me.  Taylor was gone!  Where was she?!  I swung to the left searching all around me, scanning the crowd.  I swung to the right. 

And there she was.  On my hip! 

While it is humorous that I could be so loony, the panic I felt was not.

Our God-given instinct is to protect, provide, nurture, comfort, and shield our children.  So just the thought of anything happening to them can be crippling.

Unless we continuously make the conscious choice to surrender them to our God.  And trust in His infinitely more capable ability to protect, provide, and guide them throughout their lives…however long that may be.

Indeed, this is, I believe, the only way to survive motherhood with any bit of sanity.  Worry would consume us otherwise.

But what if God asks me to out-live my child?  Could I still trust Him?  Would I?

I pray that I’ll never face such a trial.  I shudder just writing this.  But I hope and pray that I could surrender to God as obediently and faith-filled as Abraham did.

The story of God telling Abraham to sacrifice his son Isaac has always been disturbing to me.  Why would God command such a thing?  God never called for human sacrifice.

Except in this one case.  And even then, God stopped Abraham just in time to save Isaac.

Why have Abraham go through this?  God was testing Abraham’s willingness to surrender everything to Him, even his most beloved child.  Abraham’s pride and joy.

And he said, Lay not thine hand upon the lad, neither do thou any thing unto him: for now I know that thou fearest God, seeing thou hast not withheld thy son, thine only son from me. Genesis 22:12

Abraham’s faith during this test is amazing to me.  Would I be willing to surrender to God my everything…if that included my child?

But remember—

Surrender isn’t surrender if it is everything…except…

Even though God answers clearly in the text why He chose to test Abraham in this way, it is still a very chilling and disturbing thought to me. 

Sacrifice my child?!

How could a parent ever do such a thing?

And yet God the Father did follow through with surrendering and sacrificing His only begotten Son…for me, and for you.

Amazing love! How can it be? That thou my God shouldst die for me?

Charles Wesley

When God gave His Son, He gave Himself.  Abraham told Isaac that “God will provide himself a lamb.” (Genesis 22:8)

To lose a child would be to lose a part of ourselves.  I imagine it would feel like being torn apart.

And yet God really was torn from Himself when He had to turn away from God the Son as Jesus hung on that cross being made “sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in him.”  (2 Corinthians 5:21)

The Trinity knew separation that day.  God experienced the anguish and pain of the separation of death when Jesus cried out on the cross, “My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?”  (Matthew 27:46)

If I were to lose a child, I hope that I could remember Abraham’s example and continue to surrender her to God at each thought and remembrance of her.  Because God did the same for me.  He surrendered His Son for me.  And for my beloved child.

And because God’s got a plan for all those who remain here.

God’s plan for Abraham was to make of him a nation and send the Messiah through his descendants!

While I hope not, it is possible that God may ask some of us to outlive a child.  Would you still trust Him?  Would you still love Him?

God blesses those who do.  He blessed the whole world through Abraham because of his surrendered obedience.

What might God yet do through us if we will remain steadfastly surrendered to His perfect way—

No.

Matter.

What. 

 

Drawing nigh to Him,

Teresa

 

LET’S TALK ABOUT IT

Have you had to surrender and suffer the loss of a child?  Can you share with us how God has comforted you in your loss?

Maybe your surrender of your child involves worry for them in some way.  How has God comforted you?  What wisdom has God given you to help you?

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